A very "sparkly" 30 days end.

You know, I tell people all the time that I need a sense of accomplishment in my life. Mom's everywhere understand this. When everything you do all day is immediately undone and needs to be redone, you can easily work yourself to the point of utter exhaustion and have almost ZERO sense of accomplishment. Some days I actually have the perspective that allows me to see what the house and the children would have looked like without my constant intervention, and I get a bit of satisfaction from that.  But, preventing the house from exploding is not exactly something you can stand back and look at. It's not the type of thing you can hold up to other people, "Look what I did today! Everyone's alive and the house is still standing!!"

I used to work in Coffee Shops back in the day and I loved the sense of accomplishment I got from that.  *Sigh* I remember taking that one last look at the empty store at the end of the day. All signs of wear and use were washed away. Counters sparkled. Floors shined. The window on the pastry case had not a single finger print. It's like going to my "happy place" to remember what that was like... Yes, I'm a dork. I know. The thing is that I can't imagine life without my four crazy little mess makers now. I wouldn't trade them for a sparkly counter top any day. But, I still go searching for the sense of accomplishment I used to get from working. It's a conundrum for sure. (Can I stop here and mention that it gives me great satisfaction that I have used that word twice today.) Well, I have found the illusive sense of accomplishment in my art work. It is there that I can devote myself to something that, when done, can be... well... done. I hang my creations out of reach or keep them tucked away in books or in drawers or in the garage, and every now and then I steal little peaks at them and feel immensely happy that I can have my cake and eat it too.  I can have the joy of my little tornado children and that feeling of a "job well done" all at once. It is even more wonderful than a clean closed coffee shop, because my little pieces of art, however imperfect, have so much of me in them.  I can't even explain that. People ask me all the time how I do the art thing with 4 babies, and the first thing that always pops into my head is, "how can I not?" Where else do I get that sense of accomplishment?  Because, I think we are all wired to want to feel like we are doing something that will eventually get done... at least on some level. Aren't we?

Anyway, this 30 day art challenge was fabulous for me. I admit it took me about 32 days instead of 30. but, it got done, and the sketchbook my friend gave me at the beginning of the year actually has pictures in it now. Taylor Bug and Charlotte want to draw all the time now too. Happiness. :) I even drew a bit today, though I didn't have to. I didn't really even think about it, but it used to be such a chore to force myself to try and draw something. Now it's just something I do most days. It may not always be, but I'm ok with that because in just one month I learned a lot about myself, and about drawing. (For example, it is much easier to draw the things you like - coffee etc... than the things you don't - horses *creepy shiver*) I am also glad, because this is one of the first times in my life that I have ever set a reasonable goal for myself and followed it through to completion. While New Years resolutions seem like a good idea, they generally are nothing but guilt in the making. 30 day resolutions, however, are much more practical and attainable. I seriously feel like I can do anything now... 30 blogs in 30 days... Finish reading the 10 books I've started in 30 days... Keep up with the laundry for 30 days... This may very well become my new mantra. Though, right now, I guess I should just focus on getting better. The plague has come to our house and it is very lame. All my babies except Colby are miserable with coughs and fevers, and I have it too, which makes me a pretty lousy caretaker. We literally spent all day today on the couch with instant netflix and rentals. Quite possibly tomorrow will be the same too. As soon as we are on the mend though, I may just dive back into another challenge. I shall keep you posted.

Oh, and it got to be a bit too much to try to upload pictures here and there every week... If anyone hasn't seen the full set of pictures just go to "Pam Fraley's Art" on Facebook and look in the 30 drawings in 30 days album.