Reflections on a Dying Snack Food ~

      Hostess has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Apparently, it’s the second time in the last 10 years. Its hard to imagine a world without Twinkies and Wonderbread, but we may, in fact, be on the verge of witnessing their end. Can you believe it? Twinkies and Wonderbread: things that seemed at one point to be as American as America itself. They have graced the lunch boxes of just about every kid in the country. What happened? I have a theory, but before I throw it out there I want to say a few things. 1. I like - No, I LOVE zingers and the orange cupcakes with the white swirlies on them. Yes, I do. I freely admit it. 2. I am not speaking for everyone. I am making an observation about me and my own peer group using my experience. I’m generalizing and thats all. 3. I am not a crusader. Maybe I should be, but I have four kids and the oldest is five so cut me some slack. :)

Here goes... A few years ago I heard a lady named Lisa Johnson on the radio talking about her book, Mind Your X's and Y's: Satisfying the 10 Cravings of a New Generation of Consumers. She talked about how the new adults are changing EVERYTHING about the way the consumer world works. Products, politics, spirituality: its all changing. What’s different? In my own words: we are label readers. And, we are teaching the world to be label readers too. At one point, the advertisement on the front of the package was enough. (I am specifically talking about food, but its the same for everything else. We have a way of nicely packaging up whatever we are trying to sell to the world.) 

Twinkies! Yellow sponge cake with cream filling! Oh yea! What else do I need to know?!  

At some point, though, we began to wonder... Maybe I should know something more. What’s actually in this stuff? How is it made? Where is it made? People started to mistrust the flashy ad on the front of a product and to scan the back for more information. (Actually, I think the Baby Boomers started this and we just took it to a different level) We became researchers devoted to the study of words with 15 syllables that often turned out to be some horrendous chemical. We demanded change. Companies were required to provide nutrition information. Words like “natural” and “organic” entered our vocabulary. They were soon followed by other words like “free range” “grass-fed”, and, eventually,  “fair trade”. We are a generation that digs deep. We are not just consumers, but participants and often activists. We want to know what we are getting, what’s in it, where it was made, how it was made, if the person who made it was paid enough to do so, if we can recycle the package, etc. etc. etc. We want to see something we can believe in, something we feel is understandable and given out with  integrity. We feel the right to ask these questions about EVERYTHING and we demand full disclosure. As a result, companies and institutions that want to keep me and my peers are having to become more and more transparent and more and more in tune with the things we value. Those who don’t will not survive. 

Why is my generation like this? I honestly don’t know. Maybe we watched our parents be let down too many times - consistently getting more or less than what they bargained for. Maybe it’s just that we sung that song a few too many times in kindergarten: “Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How?!” Whatever the reason, this is the way we are. I’m not at all saying we do all this “label reading / accountability” stuff perfectly. We each have our own passions. But, in general, I struggle to give myself to something I don’t understand. I am focused on the food right now because of my kids. The point is, unlike the people who first bit into the soft and creamy deliciousness of a Hostess cupcake, I have the option of knowing what’s in it. And, having read the label, it feels like a bad idea to me. I am not blissfully ignorant. Because of that, I would rather eat my own cake or the one from the bakery down the road. I want real flour, eggs and sugar. I want things not injected with growth hormones or played with in a laboratory. I’m not too interested in malo-dextro-philo-something or other... In my opinion, this is why a company like Hostess is on the verge of dying.
This is both confusing and annoying to those who aren’t used to us. (I have known a few people to get exasperated with my many prodding questions.) Just so you know, sometimes its frustrating to me too. Sometimes I choose to turn a blind eye. I eat the cupcake on occasion. But, alas, sweet zingers, though I love the way you taste and your seductive vanilla ways, I also know how you poison me. Since I can’t imagine the words “all natural ingredients” gracing your cellophane package anytime soon, I think I will continue to avoid you. Maybe tomorrow I will give in, but not today.

The etiquette of Tea

My dad was born in England and grew up all over Europe. As his daughter I am considered a citizen of England as well as the U.S., though I have never really claimed my British citizenship. I have, however, always felt a strong desire to understand and respect the British way. I have payed attention to the British rules of etiquette that I encountered mostly in recreational literature, but also in intentional research. Yes, I admit I have read every bit of Jane Austin I can get my hands on, and I have spent time nerding around on British websites to find out how to "properly" do this or that. But, my passion in British etiquette is, with out a doubt, Tea. This post is going to be short compilation of what I have learned about a proper Tea and is by no means a comprehensive and flawless guide. If I were, let's say,  invited to Tea with the royal family, I freely admit I would be terrified. I am writing this anyway though, because I consider my knowledge to be above average for an American. I have seen some very interesting things go on at Tea in the U.S. such as- lasagna?? :/  And, to be perfectly honest... I am procrastinating cleaning my house.

My dad bought me a piece of property in Glencoe Scotland this year, and with it, I received the landowners of "Lady". I will go ahead and attach that to my name now so as to sound more official. Here you go...

Lady Pamela's Rules of Tea Etiquette

~ A guide for Americans

First of all, there are many various types of Tea from "Morning" to "Afternoon" to Evening or "High" Tea. The history of these Tea's are quite complicated and too intricate for this particular guide - for more information I suggest trying to sort it out for yourself over google perhaps. Just be careful of the American sites. They are filled with misinformation. *Note that is is an American site and therefore I have just discredited my own information... Moving on...

Afternoon Tea is what most of us are familiar with if we have been to a formal Tea of any kind. Sometimes they are advertised as "High" Tea on the menus of fancy American hotels and Restaurants. This is probably because it sounded like the more formal and ritzy option. In fact, it is quite the opposite. High Tea is actually served later in the day and is more of a regular meat and potatoes kind of dinner with tea. Afternoon Tea is the fancy British custom we were thinking of and, it is served between the hours of 2:00 and 5:00.  The point is, if you find yourself at a "High" Tea between the hours of 2:00 and 5:00, you can now feel superior in your knowledge that obviously someone was misinformed. 

At the thus inappropriately named "High" Tea (which is actually Afternoon Tea) you can expect to encounter a few things: the first obviously being tea, and then also a variety of delicate finger foods.  There are several various subtitles for Afternoon Tea which will tell you, if you take the time to remember them all, whether you will be offered a glass of champagne at the beginning or sherry at the end of the tea, how many courses you will be served, etc. From my research, an Afternoon Tea requires only ONE utensil no matter the number of courses - a spoon.

Traditionally the courses would consist of savories first, scones next, and then dessert. As I said before, no utensil is required other than a spoon. If you see a knife and fork you can shake your head with an air of superiority (once again) at the poor misguided souls around you. Also, scones are not triangles contrary to popular opinion. They are not supposed to be cut with a knife. They are very buttery and sweet, not baked with fruit or anything else inside. They are ROUND and biscuit-like and much more delicious than the typical American atrocity we have the nerve to call by the same name. They are meant to be pulled apart with toppings such as clotted cream, jam or lemon curd SPOONED on top. Tirade abating... Cookies are "biscuits", so don't be confused. 

The Tea itself is the most complicated part so I will try my best, but it won't be thorough. Water is brought to a rolling boil, poured into a tea pot, swirled around and dumped out - this is just to warm the pot. The tea is then put in the pot with boiling water - not sure which first, but black loose-leaf is tea is preferred. This is allowed to steep and then poured into the tea cups. Everyone seems to be in dispute over what goes into the tea cup first - milk or lemon, sugar, tea... Some say milk first if desired, then tea, then sugar. Some say sugar first, then tea, etc... this is a debate which I have zero interest in entering as I just don't care. However, I do know that my vote wouldn't mean much considering I like my tea with vanilla cream which is very taboo. Rebellious me. Lemons are to be sliced, not wedged. and obviously, you have either milk or lemon - not both. When stirring your tea don't clink the glass with your spoon. Don't slurp. And, IF you absolutely must place your pinky out to help balance the cup, be subtle about it, for peete's sake! A gently raised and curvy pinky is generally acceptable while the stick straight, "look at me I'm an American drinking tea" pinky is fairly obnoxious. Also, try to practice good posture and, when in doubt, look around for someone as British as possible and just try to follow. 

There you have it. Hope is was helpful. I think I will clean my house and make some proper scones now. :D

Endings...

I guess I haven't blogged in a lot longer than I thought. Well, chalk it up to the "life" part because we have had a busy one. Charlotte has made it midway through kindergarten and somehow we made it back to school this week after letting whatever schedule we might have had slip away completely during Christmas break. I think it was the combination of not having to be somewhere at 8:30 mixed with a touch of sickness (Jacks + the flu) and the general holiday fuzz of family time, laughing, presents and food that swirl together in a mish-mash of happy unstructuredness.

We also have a new addition, which reminds me that I should probably change my profile pic to one of me not pregnant...Colby Donald Edward Fraley. Yes, his initials are CDEF, and no, we didn't realize that till after we chose his name. Colby means "coal town"  which is a sort of round about way of naming him after his birthplace. (Homer's nickname is "Coal Bay" because of the coal that washes up on our shores.) Donald Edward was Scott's papa's name and papa was very special to my husband so, there you go... CDEF. He came into our lives very early in the morning on Sept 27th (my dad and my husband's best friend's birthday). It was exactly 9 days late and one day before they threatened to force the issue. He is the most content and generally pleasant baby I have ever encountered. His typical expression is a smile. His cries are few and easily soothed and his laughs are sweet though still a bit rare. He strikes me as the very opposite of our little TaylorBug who feels everything to an extreme - whether happy or sad. He is not like Charlotte who is calculated and logical. Maybe at this point he is the most like Jacks who is generally sweet and good natured, but Colby is calm and something tells me his calmness wont wear off as much as Jacks' did. Jacks has turned into a little tornado of a boy - a happy one, but still a tornado. He is a ball of energy functioning at 2 speeds - on or off. He gets excited and has to find something to throw or jump on or jump off or run into and has actually become very athletic for a just turned 3 year old. His birthday was 4 days after Christmas and I am rejoicing to be moving swiftly past toddlerness as he can now communicate very well and is therefore frustrated less.

Colby, I think will be calm and even and steady. I could be wrong since he's only 3 months old, but he seems older. In fact, he has seemed that way since his birth. He came out protesting loudly as most babies do, but then he quieted down. Only a few hours later I remember one of the nurses with a thoughtful look on her face saying, "he seems older than a newborn." Yea, I can't quite put my finger on why that's true, but it is. Interesting how we used to talk in psychology class about the theory of babies being born a "blank slate" and made by society and environment. My babies have all been so completely different from Day 1 that the idea is laughable to me now.

 Anyway, we ended the year of 2011 by becoming a family of 6 and I love it.  What does 2012 have in store? A few decisions have already cropped up and the rest I don't know, but it feels like change... more than what we have already anticipated. And, change is something I have a pretty good sense of. As someone who has moved over 30 times in my 30 years I feel the shift in the wind, so to speak, quite easily. Not, that we are moving, or that I buy into the world ending bit. I just have that general squirmy discomfort - the kind that hits when you feel like you are outgrowing the things you have become comfortable with... even if you don't want to. I feel like it happens so much that me and the unknown are actually becoming friends a bit. It used to bother me more, but I'm learning God knows more than me - duh right? Most of the time when I try to plan I get redirected anyway.  Often it's to something better or even just... more... than what I would have gone for but then there is still the mess of recovering from unmet expectations. Besides, anticipation and "if" tend to want to become anxiety inside of me and I think I like it better to throw it all up to God with the trust that I can muster and let Him bring the whatever. This is new because I am a person who likes to know the end. But, I can let it go for now so, fly away happy end and be illusive. I think I will linger in the now and love my family and make bread, take care of the laundry and then I'll go to sleep. Today I will not fool myself into thinking I can catch you and turn you wherever I want. I won't waste sleep on you either. Who can afford to give that up when they have 4 babies?

Ready or Not...

Well, my baby Goose actually fell asleep before 10:00 pm. Her new backpack is crammed full of a year's worth of school supplies. Her lunch box is packed except for a sandwich I will make at some horribly early hour tomorrow. And, the semi-matching yet completely adorable outfit she picked out for her first day of school is laying out in her room. *sigh*
I suddenly feel very... unstable.

Photographer/friend, Ken Williams took this of her a couple days ago. 

Five used to seem so small. Now it feels big... too big. 

Today is a big day...

It's Friday and, at first, I was ready to have just another Friday, but then I remembered...

I remembered when Scott woke me up with a goodbye kiss that he was leaving for the bush today.

I remembered when Charlotte got dressed that today is the day we go meet her kindergarten teacher and see her class room for the first time. (And, tried to help her match just a little better than normal)

When we came down stairs I remembered that this Friday is the last Friday before our first official day of school... ever.

I didn't do much different. I saw the rain outside and felt the cold wood floor on my feet and decided it was going to be a cozy day. I got a fire going in our stove and filled up three bowls of cereal like I always do. And then I realized that soon, when she really understands, days like today will maybe be a disappointment. Because, I have a school age girl now, and rain on the last few days of summer means something different. It hasn't really ever mattered before. We would just spend the rainy days inside and when the nice warm days creep back into fall, as they sometimes do, we would be outside again. Now, those days will be taken by kindergarten. And, next year it will be the same for her sister.

This Friday I feel like life is about to take off... Like the busyness of life with preschoolers is all of a sudden a lazy peaceful cozy kind of busy and now we are getting to the top of the hill and its all about to to pick up speed. I have a feeling this year is going to fly. I am excited for Charlotte and I am excited about being a more grown up mommy, I'm looking forward to school plays and concerts and helping with homework... But there is a sense of loss attached to this day too. It honestly feels like a bit more loss than I expected it too. I was just sitting in my living room yesterday talking over my vanilla Americano to a dear friend about how everything we do requires a letting go of something else. I feel that today. I'm glad I feel it. I don't think I'll be one of the moms that cries when I drop her off. She's been begging to go to school since she was three. She loves being around other kids. She longs for structured learning time - something I'm not organized enough to give her consistently with 2 other kiddos and one on the way. But, for today I'm glad I feel it - the loss associated with something we have all been so excited about for so long. Yea, today is a big Friday. And, the thing that makes it just a little more sad is that Scott has to miss it.

He is flying out today at 3:00 to some place named Karluk on the backside of Kodiak to work for four days. I know he'll be back soon and then we will be in the routine we already talked about. He'll take his baby girl to school on his way to work every morning and I'll send them off with kisses and lunchbox. But, it's sad that he can't be here today... That I will call him tonight and describe her teacher and class room to him because he can't be there. That I will have to show him pictures of her on the first day of school... *sigh* These are the kind of life interruptions I could do without. He held her on his lap this morning a little longer than normal and sang the song he made up for her and it was sweet and full. And, when I came downstairs and heard the radio talk about another plane that went down in the bush I almost threw my bowl at it. I'm ready for normal again. I want to be past the first day of school and I want him safe and home again and I am so looking forward to kissing them goodbye as they leave for school at what would normally be a way too early hour for me.

Today we will wave goodbye to Scott at the airport and then we will go meet  my little goose's teacher and then I think we should make cookies and maybe I should stay up late watching movies on the couch with them all. It's a good day to be surrounded by and smothered in the squirmy cuddles of 3 babies.

The Monday Experiment

       I hardly know what to say. Expectations are killer, yes? I do have to say that it was a good day. We played in the sun, I got some things done. (Didn't mean for that to rhyme) It ended a bit rougher than it started, but I think over all I feel mostly blessed. So, getting down to it...
(Oh, if you haven't read the previous post you may want to do that in order to understand this one a bit better.)

       As for my "to do" list - I was able to get my three bathrooms clean. Yay! The floor is swept. I started a bit more laundry. And, the babies were extremely excited to help me unload the dishwasher, so I was able to get the kitchen pretty clean too. They took care of all their dishes (which mostly go in a very low drawer) and then handed me stuff to put on the higher shelves. Surprisingly, this was actually a pretty efficient system. Note to self *remember to ask small children for help more often.*

       Other things - We played out on the deck for a bit and I attempted to capture some moments in the sun using the short tutorial my neighbor gave me on my camera yesterday.

       

       After some pictures I left my french doors open and tried to get a few more house chores done. Remember I said I expected interruptions? I was not too happy when they came in the form of 3 nasty splinters. Jacks had two which actually weren't that bad. Taylor, on the other hand, had a nasty little one that was only extracted after many tears and lots of switching back and forth between needle and tweezers. Poor Baby. :( Charlotte and Jacks were so sweet through the whole ordeal. They held her hand and tried to distract her with things to look at. They wiped her tears and stroked her hair and told her it would be okay. My children astound me. Yes, they are very close together and admittedly that makes it crazy sometimes. But, I wouldn't change a thing about it. I love how they love each other. *sigh*
I digress... The stupid splinter was so deep it took about 20 minutes to get it out of my squirmy, miserable 4 year old. But, we finally had success and all was fixed with a Phineas and Ferb band aid and some cuddles with mama. She was very proud to show her daddy her little bandaged toe when we took him lunch later.

       The rest of the day is a bit jumbled and blurry to me. Pregnancy brain I guess. Grilled cheese sandwiches with the yummy dark wheat bread for lunch, more playing outside, a nap for Jacks to help him through the ridiculous growth spurt he is having. Scott's mom stopped by and made all the babies happy. (They miss having grandma next door.) Chili and corn bread for dinner. Followed by a chat with my lovely sister on the phone.

       Then, Scott built a fire in the fire pit outside and we spent the rest of the evening hanging out down there.

       Unfortunately I freaked out a bit when my calm day ended with 2 girls and a mud pit. Boots and children had to be hosed off and showered and I had more than a little bad attitude about it. I think I expected my day to end on a... cleaner note.

       After they were all in bed and I kissed their little faces I wished I hadn't been so fussy over a little mud. I astound myself with my ability to get "me" centered that fast, especially on days like today. All I could think of was mud, and how I had another new mess at the end of the day. When they were all in bed is when I remembered the radio program I heard on the fringes of our afternoon today. It was about the slums of India. I remembered how mothers there train their precious babies to beg while I feed mine around a comfortable table. I look at my beautiful little girls sleeping safe in their beds and I'm astonished that we live here - where chances of them being thrown into the world of human trafficking are slim. The everyday over there is so incredibly poor compared to my everyday that it's sometimes hard to believe we are all on the same planet. And, on top of it I know I didn't do anything to deserve the "here" that I have. Tonight I tucked my babies in hoping that with a bit of perspective, I will learn to stop complaining about my little hiccups and unmet expectations. That I will be thankful. And, even that maybe there is something I can do to change a bit of that very far away place.

       So that's it. The day is over and I feel full. I am very thankful for what I have, a little more in love with my sweet babies, stirred by the issues of social injustice in the world, disappointed at my humanity, excited about tomorrow, and tired from a day of work and splinters and sun. No, it was not everything I expected. Yes, it was good. 

Monday - Real Quick

       So, I heard somewhere that it's a good idea to write your expectations of the day in the morning and then write what actually happened at night. It's probably a good way to gage our lack of control over life, so here goes...
      
       I'll start with a confession. I have been a slacker. Yep. I have. I sat on my butt all day yesterday. We went to church in the morning and then I made blueberry pancakes for the babies. And then I sat in the corner of the couch for most of the rest of the day. I spent a ridiculous amount of time commenting on ridiculous posts in my Sept birth club forum on BabyCenter. And, at the end of the day I surveyed the damage. It was pretty bad. You just can't sit down for too long when you have 3 kiddos and not have the house explode. Today, I decided it would feel much better to get off my butt. The "to-do" list is long. There are dishes, and laundry and bathrooms - Oh my! Not to mention dusting and windows and floors and that roll-top desk that so easily collects things.

       As for my expectations.... my expectation is to get a few of these things...um...started (laundry and dishes are never  actually "done"). I expect to be interrupted - and rightly so. I expect that I will have to slow down and let the babies "help". :) I expect to have more fun in the real world than I did on the virtual world of forums yesterday. I expect I will let myself stop to read a book or push the babies on the swing set. I expect that someone will "unexpectedly" stop by. And, I hope that at the end of the day my house looks a little bit cleaner, my kids are a bit happier at not having a lazy mama. And, I will feel a bit better about cuddling with my husband on the couch to watch Cosby or whatever it is tonight because relaxing is much more rewarding when you have actually done some working beforehand.

       I'll let you know how it goes...